Underdose
by Pyjamas
Summary: This was a hospital, and that could mean only one thing: He didn't take enough.


**Written during/after a particularly bad day.** **I haven't written in a while, so I'm sorry if this is a bit rubbish. However, I've been told that it's ok so I thought I'd post it. Not a lot to warn about, except the suicide theme. I picture this to be in the POV of Ryou, but as there aren't any names it can be whoever you like. One last thing, I don't own Yugioh.**

UNDERDOSE

Breathing rapidly, short and panicked breaths, and I'm sitting up. I wasn't sitting up before. There's curtains. I'm in a bed, surrounded by big curtains. A piece of paper around my wrist; a drip; tubes everywhere. I'm wearing a plastic gown. A beep…there's a machine next to me. It's got a green zigzag line on it. No lights are on; it must be night. Everything looks blue. My breathing gets calmer and now it's more confusion than shock. This bed is stiff and uncomfortable. The sheets are thin. My hands are on my face, my head, my shoulders, my gown, my chest, my stomach, my legs. With each movement they're moving with more urgency. I'm breathing quicker. My piece of paper on my wrist has my name on it. The panic sets in and I can't look away from my name. Eyebrows getting lower while eyes get wider, and I realise with more horror than I've ever felt before. This is a hospital. A hospital means one thing.

It didn't work.

Teeth are gritted, my breathing is definitely getting faster. My hands rake through my hair roughly. Rocking back and forth. It didn't work. It didn't work. How did I fail at this? What I wanted, everyone wanted. Fistfuls of my hair, I'm pulling them hard but it doesn't hurt. My eyes squeezed shut, if I can't see them then I'm not here. I can't be. What went wrong? I hid, no one should have cared anyway. Didn't I take enough? All I had left was gone, I should have kept more. Should've kept a lot more. How did they find me? I was hiding, was an interval. They shouldn't have found me. Wasted my efforts to do what they wanted. I didn't take enough.

Snatching at the tubes in a frenzied anger. I rip them out of me, they're keeping me here. Grab as much as I can of my thin sheet, it's hanging off the bed now. Things stuck to me, get them off. They tear off my skin, I can't feel it, I don't care. Bare feet, the floor's cold. I stumble to a curtain, pull it in every direction, then there's a gap. Through the gap, an empty, dark room. Lots more curtains. A desk, paper, doors. As fast as I can through a door. There's stairs. Have to hold the banister or I'll fall, and that won't kill me. Up some stairs, but there's more. So many stairs. I must be high up.

I'm climbing higher, I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have to climb. Should be in the dark place. Can hear my feet slapping the floor, irregular steps to match the breathing. Not fast enough. The hospital gown is too loud, like a bag of crisps, like the applause. They applauded until I couldn't hear it. Applauding my big exit, during the interval. It was too loud. The banister is pulling me up the stairs, I'm nearly there now. There's a door and I can't look away, I have to get there. It's going to be my way out. It's blue too, and now it's open.

It's cold and It's windy outside. The lights look so pretty from so high up, the stars look so pretty from so low down. It must be late; when I lean over the edge there are no cars in the road. The floor is stony, makes my feet sting. No one'll notice me. Climb over the railings, careful, don't slip. I can hold on and lean out over the lights. My hair is blowing in my eyes and my gown is making noise and my piece of paper is trying to get off my arm. No, it won't come off. My name can't stay here without me. This won't go wrong, I'm too high. Storeys and storeys. Smile, laugh, enjoy. I won't be here. So stand up straight, and I look at the lights. Smile. My feet sting with stones and my hands sting with cold metal.

I let go of the railing. This time it doesn't matter how much I take.

**There you have it. Reviews are good and always appreciated.**


End file.
